An explanation

December 3, 2012 changed my life in ways that I cannot, to this day, put into words or understand. Since that day I have not wanted to write or feel or do anything meaningful.  Tomorrow is a new day, and I will have my brother and his family here.  Something is sparking within my soul and I feel the need to begin writing again.

December 3rd…I came home from work after working 3 7p-7a shifts.  I crawled into bed and thought, “Oh, I’ll sleep a couple of hours and get up and do something.”  I don’t even know what I had planned to do that day, but I’m sure it was important.  I don’t even know how long I had been asleep…maybe an hour when my phone started ringing.  I, of course, rolled over and ignored it, thinking, “I AM going to sleep for a little bit.”  BUT…it began ringing again.  I ignored it a little longer.  THEN it rang again.  I ignored again…then it rang again….I was angry that someone was bothering me…and grabbed the phone…the caller ID was blank… but I had a voice mail.  The voice said that something had happened to Mr. Loyd Cole and I needed to call Maxine as soon as possible….the next voice mail told me that Mr. Loyd Cole was deceased…I don’t even remember the words.  I jumped up and sped to Mom and Dad’s….there was a female officer standing beside Mom in her rocking chair….all I can remember is saying, “No, No, NO….What has happened?????” and shaking…..and Mom crying… was a horrible, horrible, horrible time of confusion.  We originally thought Dad had been hit by a car.  He walked every day. Steve came in and had spoken to someone…I’m still a little fuzzy on some of these details, but Steve had been told that something else had happened.  Mom had originally gone out looking for Dad after he hadn’t come home in a specific amount of time and actually drove up on the ambulance, police and such…the female officer drove Mom home and that’s when they began calling me.

OK…my writing skills are failing me as I am filled with emotion.  Dad was murdered.  He was stabbed to death.

I loved that man so very much and he loved me. I was so angry with the world for taking him away from us!  Oh, he had his quirks…and I will be the first to tell you that I gave him grief as often as I saw fit, which was pretty often.  I think I’m going to have to quit talking about this for now.

When I went to work Tuesday, my girlfriend told me that they ate their first tomato.  She, her husband and their daughter split the tomato into 3 pieces so they could all enjoy that first ripe tomato. 

Dad would always bring me his first ripe tomato…I can see his hands wrapped around it and his face beaming….he would be so proud of that first red beauty…..and I know that he babied it just so he could hand it to me.

I’m done for now…but I’m back


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